Annotated Bibliography for Children and Parents of Third Party…

Annotated Bibliography for Children and Parents of
Third Party Reproduction*
  Part One: Donor Conception Children's Books
  Part Two: Donor Conception Books for Parents
  Part Three: Gay/Lesbian/Single Parent Children's Books
  Part Four: Gay/Lesbian/Single Parenting Books

                  Compiled by the Education Committee, Spring 2007
                             Kim Kluger-Bell, MFT, Chair
                               Jana Frances Fisher, Ph.D.
                                 Jennifer Adams, Ph.D.
                           Mental Health Professional Group
                     American Society for Reproduction Medicine
                        (Based on the Children's Bibliography
                compiled by Elaine Gordon, Phd, and Ellen Speyer, MFT)

*For excellent lists of books on adoption for parents and children see
www.pactadopt.org/favoritebooks/.


Part One: DONOR CONCEPTION CHILDREN'S BOOKS

Appleton, Tim. (2005) MY BEGINNINGS : A VERY SPECIAL STORY
Published by IFC Resource Center, U.K. Available through
www.mybeginnings.org.
A book for younger children that can be put together in different ways to cover
IVF, IVF with ICSI, IVF with Donor Sperm, IVF with Donor Egg, donor
insemination, donor embryos and frozen embryo transfers. Tells the story of a
couple who lead unfulfilled lives before the birth of their child through donor
conception. The latest edition of the book has a CD with more information for
older children, including "I'm a Little Frostie" which refers to frozen embryos.
Recommended by Donor Conception Network, especially for children created by
embryo donation.

Bourne, Kate. (2002) SOMETIMES IT TAKES THREE TO MAKE A BABY
(Explaining Egg Donor Conception to Young Children) Melbourne IVF,
Victoria, Australia. Available through www.mivf.com.au. Email
wrayjone@watrose.com for availability.
Written for 3-9 year olds. There are three sections to the book, the first is a story
about donor conception to be read to the child; the second is a "My Very Own
Book about Me" which can be used to fill in the child's personal conception story;
and the third section provides advice and reassurance for parents on how to tell
children their stories and answer their questions. Highly Recommended by Donor
Conception Network in the U.K.


                                                                                    1
Celcer, Irene. (2007) HOPE AND WILL HAVE A BABY United States, Graphite
Press. Available www.hopeandwill.net.
Ages 3-7. Four-book collection includes The Gift of Egg Donation, The Gift of
Embryo Donation, The Gift of Sperm Donation, and The Gift of Surrogacy. The
story begins with the questions of a little boy who learns of his parent's quest to
have a child and his unique conception. One of the newest books published.



Gordon, Elaine. (1992) MOMMY, DID I GROW IN YOUR TUMMY? WHERE
SOME BABIES COME FROM California: EM Greenburg Press. Available
through amazon.com and through www.elainegordon.com.
Ages 4-12. Very well illustrated and sensitively written, this is one of the first
books published to assist parents in talking with their kids about their unique
origins--including IVF, egg and sperm donation, surrogacy and adoption.
Recommended by Donor Conception Network.

Grimes, Janice. (2004) BEFORE YOU WERE BORN; OUR WISH FOR A CHILD
Published in the US by X,Y and me. Available through www.xyandme.com.
There are 16 versions of these story books, which can be used for children of two
parent families conceived through IVF, Donor Insemination, IVF with Donor
Sperm, Egg Donation, Frozen Embryo Transfer, Embryo Donation, Traditional
Surrogacy, Gestational Carrier.

Grimes, Janice. (2005) BEFORE YOU WERE BORN: MY WISH FOR A CHILD
Available through www.xyandme.com
These story books are good for children in single parent families and include the
following: Donor Insemination, IVF with Donor Sperm, Donor Egg/Donor Sperm,
or Donor Embryo, and Single dad--traditional surrogate, single dad--donor egg
and gestational carrier.


Javier, Carmen Martinez. (2005) AN ITSY BITSY GIFT OF LIFE; AN EGG
DONOR STORY Available through amazon.com
Ages 9-12. Endearing story book with optional toy rabbit pouch will delight
younger children. Colorful illustrations, charming story.

Leicester, Mal. (2001) MAKING MIRACLES Published by Acebabes. Available
through AceBabes.com.
Story book for young children. Friendship between a frog and a young boy refers
to assisted conception and leaves it to parents to fill in the details.

Margolis, Amy. (2006) Butterflies and Magical Wings U.S.: Amy Margolis
Publishing. Available through amazon.com.




                                                                                      2
Ages 4-8. Written by the mother of two children conceived through donor egg,
this story focuses on a butterfly couple who receive help another butterfly with
magical spots. Very colorfully illustrated.


Nadel, Carolina. (2006) MOMMY WAS YOUR TUMMY BIG? U.S. Carolina
Nadel. Available through amazon.com.
Lovely storybook for younger children. A mother elephant explains the story of
her child's conception through donor egg and IVF. Nice illustrations and simple
language will appeal to children 3-5 years and possibly older.




Schaffer, Patricia. (1988) HOW BABIES AND FAMILIES ARE MADE: THERE
IS MORE THAN ONE WAY Berkeley, CA. Sarah Tabor Books. Available
through amazon.com
Sensitively and simply addresses the differences between male and female
bodies and their reproductive organs and how babies are conceived. Donor
insemination and IVF are referred to as different ways of conceiving children but
donor egg, and donor embryo are not mentioned. Illustrations not spectacular.
Highly recommended by Donor Conception Network.

Infertility Research Trust. (1992) MY STORY Available through www.donor-
conception-network.
Written for children up to age 6 who were conceived through donor insemination
used by heterosexual couples. Very simple language. Engaging illustrations.

Donor Conception Network. (2002) OUR STORY Published by Donor
Conception Network. Available through www.donor-conception-network.
Three versions of the book include children who were conceived by sperm
donation, children conceived through sperm donation to single parent families,
children conceived through sperm donation into lesbian families.




                                                                                    3
PART TWO: DONOR CONCEPTION BOOKS FOR PARENTS

Bernstein, Anne (1994) Flight of the Stork: What Children Think (And When)
About Sex and Family Building 287 p. Indianapolis: Perspectives Press.
Available through amazon.com or www.perspectivespress.com.
Enlightening interviews with children aged 3-12 provides insight into the minds of
young children and how their concepts and questions about sex and reproduction
change over time. This updated version includes references to donor
insemination, assisted reproductive technology and surrogacy. Valuable resource
for parents in communicating with their children about the special circumstances
of their origins.



Cooper, S. and Glazer, E. (1999) CHOOSING ASSISTED REPRODUCTION:
SOCIAL, EMOTIONAL, AND ETHICAL CONSIDERATIONS Indianapolis:
Perspectives Press. 400p. Available on line through booksellers or
through www.perspectivespress.com.
Comprehensive overview of IVF, GIFT, ZIFT, ICSI, ovum donation, sperm
donation, surrogacy, gestational care, and embryo donation which helps fertility
patients think through the psychological, social and ethical implications of these
procedures. Suggestions on how and when to tell children about their origins is
included.

Daniels, Ken. BUILDING A FAMILY WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF DONOR
INSEMINATION

Donor Conception Network. TELLING AND TALKING

Ehrensaft, Diane. (2005) MOMMIES, DADDIES, DONORS, SURROGATES:
ANSWERING TOUCH QUESTIONS AND BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES
Guilford Press. 305p. Highly comprehensive book on the in's and outs of the
kinds of issues faced by families of third party reproductive technology. Excellent
sections on how, when, and what to tell your children. Some fertility patients have
been overwhelmed by the scope of the book.

Friedman, J.S. (1996) BUILDING YOUR FAMILY THROUGH EGG DONATION
­WHAT YOU WILL WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE EMOTIONAL ASPECTS,


                                                                                     4
BONDING, AND DISCLOSURE ISSUES Kentucky: Jolance Press. This book is
available through the author.

Glazer, Ellen. (2005) HAVING YOUR BABY THROUGH EGG DONATION
Indianapolis: Perspectives Press. 384p. Available on line through amazon or
www.perspectivespress.com.
The most thorough exploration of the medical, ethical, and psychological aspects
of egg donation currently in print, including sections on how, when, and who to
tell.


Glazer, Ellen. (1998) THE LONG AWAITED STORK: A GUIDE TO
PARENTING AFTER INFERTILITY Jossey Bass Press. 349p. Available
through booksellers on line.
One of a kind resources for parenting after infertility including sections on what
(and when) to tell your child about their conception and/or birth, who else to tell,
and how to handle lingering feelings of loss. Appropriate for parents of adopted
children; sperm donor, egg donor parents; parents who used surrogates; parents
of special needs kids; and parents raising children conceived in different ways.

Lorbach, Caroline. (2003) EXPERIENCES OF DONOR CONCEPTION;
PARENTS, OFFSPRING, AND DONORS THROUGH THE YEARS New
Zealand: Jessica Kingsley Publishers. 208 p. Available through amazon.com.
Fascinating exploration of using donor conception (egg donation, sperm
donation, embryo donation), which draws heavily on first hand experiences of
parents, offspring and donors and includes the author's own family story. Special
emphasis on how and when to tell children and "real life" examples of family's
experiences. Strongly supportive of open-ness with children.

Pettle, S. and J. Burns. CHOOSING TO BE OPEN: THE EXPERIENCES OF
PARENTS Donor Conception Network, U.K. Available through www.donor-
conception-network.org.
Short book consisting of conversations with 52 parents who participated in group
discussions to talk about their experiences being open about donor conception.
Available through www.donor-conception-network.org.




                                                                                   5
PART Three: GAY/LESBIAN/SINGLE-PARENT CHILDREN'S
BOOKS
Baxter, Nicola. (2003) OUR STORY Donor Conception Network. Available
through www.dcnetwork.org and www.familyhelper.net/iy/in.html.
An excellent guide to donor insemination for young children, with one version
about having lesbian parents (ages 3-6)

Day, Ann Frances. (2000) LESBIAN AND GAY VOICES: AN ANNOTATED
BIBLIOGRAPHY AND GUIDE TO LITERATURE FOR CHILDREN AND
YOUNG ADULTS. Available through

Considine, Kaitlyn. (2005) EMMA AND MEESHA MY BOY: A TWO MOM
STORY. Available through twomombooks.com.Ages 3-6. Two moms teach their
daughter to be nice to her cat. The publisher's website, http://www.twolives.com,
is a resource center for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender parents and their
children. They have an extensive offering of books for children and adults as
well.

de Haan, Linda. KING AND KING
Ages 3-6. When the queen decrees that it's time for the prince to marry,
princesses come from far and wide hoping to catch his eye. But the one who
actually charms the prince is the brother of one of the princesses, and guess
what? They live happily ever after!

Elwin, Rosamund & Paulse, Michele. (1990) ASHA'S MUMS. Women's Press,
Ontario, Canada.
Ages 6 and up. Thoughtful story showing how a young girl and her two moms
deal positively with homophobia at school and introduce their family to her
teacher and classmates.

Garden, Nancy. HOLLY'S SECRET

.Ages 8-12. When Holly's family moves to a new town, she changes her name
and lies about her parents (two moms), hoping that she'll fit in. She learns that
her true friends will stand by her. The dialogue between Holly and her family is
very loving and realistic.

Gottlieb, Andrew. SONS TALK ABOUT THEIR GAY FATHERS: LIFE CURVES
Haworth Gay and Lesbian Studies.

Greenberg, Keith. (1996) ZACK'S STORY: GROWING UP WITH SAME-SEX
PARENTS. Lerner Publications.
 Written for pre-teens. Eleven-year-old Zack describes life with his two moms in
this photo-essay.



                                                                                    6
Howey, Noelle & Samuels, E. (Eds.) (2000). OUT OF THE ORDINARY:
ESSAYS ON GROWING UP WITH GAY, LESBIAN, AND TRANSGENDER
PARENTS Stonewall Inn Editions. Available through amazon.com.
Collection of essays by 20 contributors who have a queer mom or dad (or two).
The lack of sophistication in these essays is both the book's weakness and its
strength, for these accounts, many by first-time writers, sometimes
unintentionally show with dramatic clarity how at early ages the authors sensed
and shouldered their parents' struggles. These narrators don't sound like
products of the current, proud gay-parenting boom; many are the children of
parents who struggled to leave straight lives (and marriages) and to establish
new identities later in life.

Newman, Leslea & Souza, Diane. (2000) HEATHER HAS TWO MOMMIES
Alyson Publications. Available through amazon.com.
Ages 2-6. Mama Kate, Mama Jane, and Heather became a family using donor
insemination. The was the first book published by Alyson Wonderland which has
a number of books for and about children of lesbian and gay parents. 2000 is the
updated edition.

Newman, Leslea. (1991) GLORIA GOES TO GAY PRIDE Alyson Publications.
Gloria and her two mothers join in a Gay Pride parade.


Newman, Leslea. FELICIA'S FAVORITE STORY

At bedtime Felicia wants to hear her favorite story, of how she was adopted by
Mama Linda and Mama Nessa. And so Felicia's parents tell her how they flew off
in a big silver airplane to meet her and how they loved her from the very first
moment they saw her.


Snow, Judith. HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE A GAY OR LESBIAN PARENT: A
BOOK BY KIDS FOR KIDS OF ALL AGES

Valentine, Johnny. (2004) ONE DAD, TWO DADS, BROWN DAD, BLUE DADS
 Two children-one with blue dads, one from a more traditional family-compare
notes in this light hearted book about parents who are different. In the end, they
discover that blue dads are not really different from others dads. Except in one
way.


Valentine, Johnny. THE DUKE WHO OUTLAWED JELLY BEANS




                                                                                  7
This is a collection of five original fairy tales: The Frog Prince, The Eagle Rider,
the Dragon Sense, The Ogre's Boots and The Duke Who Outlawed Jelly Beans.
Embedded within the stories are a cast of gay and lesbian characters.


Willhoite, Michael. (1991) DADDY'S ROOMMATE
Both the story and pictures are warm and positive as they show the boy Nick
with the two partners, depicting loving family relationships.

PART FOUR: GAY/LESBIAN/SINGLE PARENTING BOOKS
Alpert, Harriet. (Ed.) (1988) WE ARE EVERYWHERE: WRITINGS BY AND
ABOUT LESBIAN PARENTS The Crossing Press. Available through
amazon.com.

Barret, Robert. L. & Robinson, Bryan. E. (1991) GAY FATHERS:
ENCOURAGING THE HEARTS OF GAY DADS AND THEIR FAMILIES
Jossey-Bass Books. Available through amazon.com.
Utilizing rich case examples, the authors examine the many faces and
complexities of gay fatherhood, using narratives reported by gay fathers and their
children.


Benkov, Laura. (1995) REINVENTING THE FAMILY: LESBIAN AND GAY
PARENTS Crown Trade Paperbacks. Available through amazon.com.
Examines many aspects of gay and lesbian parenting. Topics include
experiences of gays and lesbian parents "coming out" of heterosexual marriages;
legal developments in adoptions, foster care, and custody battles; artificial
insemination; society's view of parenting roles; children raised by gay and lesbian
parents; and the influence of homophobia. The author's research is combined
with illustrative case studies.

Brill, Stephanie. (2001) THE QUEER PARENT'S PRIMER: A LESBIAN AND
GAY FAMILIES' GUIDE TO NAVIGATING THROUGH A STRAIGHT WORLD
New Harbinger Publications. Available through amazon.com.
Through examples and interactive exercises, a proactive, practical approach for
dealing with the challenges of defining, protecting, and celebrating queer families
is offered. Topics include creating a healthy family, coming out, finding culturally
sensitive childcare and schools, and making decisions about spirituality and
family celebrations. Also addressed are single parenting, breaking up, and the
legal aspects of protecting GLB families.


Brill, Stephanie & Sacks, Preston. (2006) THE NEW ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO
LESBIAN CONCEPTION, PREGNANCY, AND BIRTH Alyson Publications.
Available through amazon.com.


                                                                                       8
Covers the latest information in insemination and fertility technology and is a
thorough, practical guide to the physical and emotional stages of pre-conception,
pregnancy and delivery for lesbian women and their partners.

Curry, Hayden, Hertz, Frederick & Doskow, Emily. (2007) LEGAL GUIDE FOR
LESBIAN & GAY COUPLES Nolo Press. Available through amazon.com.Helps
LGBT couples take charge of their legal needs and take steps to define and protect their
relationships and children. Addresses same-sex marriage and marriage-like relationships,
property ownership, health care directives, estate planning, and parentage questions. With
CD containing useful forms.



American Psychological Association. (2005) Committee on lesbian, gay &
bisexual concerns, committee on children, youth & families, and committee on
women in psychology LESBIAN AND GAY PARENTING. Available through the
American Psychological Association, Washington, DC.This publication is an
excellent resource for lesbian and gay parents that includes up-to-date summary
of research findings, APA amicus briefs and other resources.


Clunis, D. Merilee & Green, G. Dorsey. (2003) THE LESBIAN PARENTING
BOOK: A GUIDE TO CREATING FAMILIES AND RAISING CHILDREN Seal
Press. Available through amazon.com.
Covers the "how-tos" of lesbian-headed households discussing many germane
topics from conception to adoption, addressing homophobia in age-appropriate
ways and dealing with a myriad of other societal and school issues.

Gillespie, Peggy, Weston, Kath, Kaeser,Gigi & Martin, April. (1999) LOVE
MAKES A FAMILY: PORTRAITS OF LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND
TRANSGENDER PARENTS AND THEIR FAMILIES University of
Massachusetts Press. Available through amazon.com.
A collection of informal family portraits and interviews with lesbian, gay, bisexual,
and transgender (LGBT) parents and their children grew out of a photo exhibit
created by photographer Kaeser. Myriad family configurations are presented: gay
and lesbian couples, divorced lesbians coparenting, single parents,
transgendered parents, and stepparents and their children. From text
accompanying the photographs, we learn who these people consider family and
why as they speak about their feelings and experiences as part of an LGBT
family. The interviews reveal many of the same joys and struggles as found in
other families in addition to the challenges of being an LGBT family in a
predominantly heterosexual world.


Johnson, Suzanne. FOR LESBIAN PARENTS: YOUR GUIDE TO HELPING
YOUR FAMILY GROW UP HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND PROUD


                                                                                        9
Lev, Arlene Istar. (2004) THE COMPLETE LESBIAN AND GAY PARENTING
GUIDE Berkley Trade Paperback.

Martin, April. (1993) THE LESBIAN AND GAY PARENTING HANDBOOK:
CREATING AND RAISING OUR FAMILIES Harper Perennial.
An affirming guide for lesbian and gay families.

Mattes, J. (1997) SINGLE MOTHERS BY CHOICE: A GUIDE FOR SINGLE
WOMEN WHO ARE CONSIDERING OR HAVE CHOSEN MOTHERHOOD Three
Rivers Press.

Mohler, Marie & Frazer, Lacy. (2002) A DONOR INSEMINATION GUIDE:
WRITTEN BY AND FOR LESBIAN WOMEN Harrington Park Press. These
parents of two children conceived through donor insemination share their
experiences and offer advice.

Pepper, Rachel. (2005) THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO PREGNANCY FOR
LESBIANS: HOW TO STAY SANE AND CARE FOR YOURSELF FROM
PRECONCEPTION THROUGH BIRTH Cleis Press. Available through
A humorous and insightful guide written by a lesbian mother who herself used
donor sperm to conceive.

Pies, Cheri. (1988) CONSIDERING PARENTHOOD Spinsters Ink. Available
through
A slightly dated yet user-friendly book that considers many dimensions of lesbian
family building,

Pollack, Sandra & Vaughn, Jeanne (Eds.) (1987) POLITICS OF THE HEART: A
LESBIAN PARENTING ANTHOLOGY Firebrand Books.


Wells, Jess. (ed.) (1997). LESBIANS RAISINGS SONS Alyson Books. Available
through amazon.com.

Lesbians Raising Sons is an anthology of first person writings examining the
ideas of manhood, of motherhood, of lesbians raising male children in
yesterday's and today's world. Divided into three segments, the book takes an
unflinching and entirely new look at mothering: "New Lessons" examines the way
in which sons of lesbians grow up to be different men; "Making a Family" looks at
family constructs and "Facing Losses" reveals the heart-breaking reality that
many women have had to confront when their families were threatened by
homophobic courts and traditions.

Weston, Kath (1991). FAMILIES WE CHOOSE: LESBIANS, GAYS, KINSHIP
Columbia University Press. Available through amazon.com.



                                                                               10
In recent decades gay men and lesbians have increasingly portrayed themselves
as people who seek not only to maintain ties with blood and adoptive relatives
but also to establish families of their own. In Families We Choose, Kath Weston
draws upon fieldwork and interviews to explore the ways gay men and lesbians
are constructing their own notions of kinship by drawing on the symbolism of
love, friendship, and biology. She presents interviewees' stories of coming out
and of their subsequent relations with straight families. She also discusses
changes in gay communities that have helped shape contemporary discourse
about the gay family. Finally, she addresses the political implications of chosen
families.




                                                                               11
12